I NEED 250K TO REWRITE THE COURSES I FAILED

I was on my bed gisting with my sister when my brother came banging my door. I had earlier heard him lamenting that girls are terrible but I pretended I didn’t hear him. For one thing I am not a feminism freak, I am more of a human rights freak. Whether for male or female I believe that the right thing should be done. So when I heard him lamenting about how terrible and cunning ladies can be I just smiled. Maybe I should have jumped up and told him that men and not ladies are terrible, but then what will I benefit from the argument? It is nothing but a waste of my time. I have come to the conclusion that human beings- male, female, transgender or whatever form they take these days can be terrible, deceitful and cunning. So, I don’t bother wasting my time on forming that I am a feminist. I listen to your argument first then I make my counter- argument based on your argument. So, a general comment like ‘girls are terrible’, doesn’t move me at all.

When he came banging at my door, I knew that it was a serious matter because my brother knows better than to come and bang my door to inform me of the Jezebel nature of my gender. The look of disgust on his face confirmed that he was truly appalled. So maybe it has happened to other guys but for him it was a first.

Here goes the story:

So this girl is his acquaintance or something but definitely not a friend. I don’t know how and where they met but he has her number and she does too. For about six months the girl never replied his chats on whatsapp. She reads it but won’t even spare him a simple hello. I told him a girl has the freedom to choose who to reply and who not to reply. He stopped checking up on her after sometimes.

Well, Miss I- Don’t- Want -To -Talk- To- You shocked him when she replied all the messages he had sent over the months in a day within few minutes. The same messages she had read all those months and didn’t acknowledge. She apologised profusely for not replying his messages giving several excuses. He was still thinking of an apt reply when she told him she needed 250k to rewrite some courses she failed in the previous semester.

My brother definitely cannot have 250k to spare and I would still be using this tiny Huawei phone. The girl wasn’t asking for the whole 250k, she wanted him to give her the remaining 50k or at least half of it. In other words, she has 200k already. For someone who went to a Federal University, the whole paying to rewrite courses failed was strange but the girl explained that she attends a Private University. If she is paying 250k to rewrite the courses she failed I wonder how much her school fees is per session. The first question my brother asked was if she failed all her courses.

She explained that she didn’t fail all the courses but just two of the courses. So if my mathematics is correct, she is paying 125k for one course. All my school fees for the past five years is not even up to 125k. Add all what my brother paid for his four years and my five years, I am sure we will still have enough money to buy a medium box of pizza from the 250k. My brother told her alright and promised her a swift response. She was happy probably because she thought alert ‘go’ enter.

My brother won’t be my mother’s child if he is not smart. He immediately browsed to see if the school was even in existence. He was able to access the school’s website and he called the help desk and made enquiries. He was told that the option to rewrite failed courses was actually available but one course is 50k no matter the faculty or department. He ended the call, called the girl and asked her again how many courses she was rewriting and she said just two courses. You cannot imagine how angry he was that the girl tried to play him.

The whole thing was just funny to me. I told him that there are three options. First, she is not even a student of that University. Second, she is a student but the story is a lie. Third, she actually failed five courses but shame wouldn’t allow her admit it. My brother wasn’t interested in making excuses for her. He was simply appalled.

My Conclusion

If the first option or second option is the case, then she is not smart enough. She should have made necessary enquiries to ensure that there are no loopholes. Not all guys will just give you 50k like that, at least I know my mother’s son won’t give 50k just like that considering your past attitude. A cancer story might work though but definitely not this kind of story.

If it is the third option, then there is no point lying. I think admitting you failed five courses is better than two courses considering the amount involved. On the other hand, if you truly failed five courses in a single semester and you need 250k and you still have about four semesters to go, then I think a private university is not for you unless your father doesn’t mind. You can’t go about begging those who went to strike-infested schools for 250k every time you fail. It simply isn’t fair.

It is either you get your head in the game and try to make the pass mark or simply switch to a Federal University (assuming you are able to get an admission) where you simply carry over without unnecessary cost.

Before I forget, who has 50k to spare? All I want is pizza. At least something to munch on while ASUU and Federal Government are still negotiating on whether I should have quality education or not.

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I AM A LAW STUDENT, I CAN’T KEEP CALM

What happened to asking straightforward questions like, ‘What is Tort? What are the elements of defamation?’
Honestly, life will definitely be easier for everyone if we have questions like, ‘What is mandamus?’

Do our questions really have to come in stories and comprehension passages? I mean, what kind of story needs authorities? It hurts my well manicured fingers(abi nails) to hold the pen for 3 hours trying to write what I was taught in about thirteen weeks. Honestly, this is   unfair and I am sure it is against some principle of natural justice (I still don’t know which one though, still searching…).

There is also that very thing called ‘cases’. Those story like questions require cases. The cases are like the spice of the dish, so you have to keep alternating between a red pen and your normal pen(at least it makes the booklet colourful). In my own opinion, some people are just out to oppress poor souls like me, their whole booklet is full of red ink and I have to ask myself if they are giving their own judgment because a look into my own booklet that barely have three lines of red ink in a page is depressing(don’t you dare ask how I get to see someone else’s booklet in the exam, I can’t explain…it just happens).

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Source: Internet

Why can’t we just answer our comprehension passages without citing any case? I mean does evey principle have to have a case. We are forced to remember names of some persons who by themselves got into trouble (well, some are victims of circumstances sha). It is annoying that someone went to court just because she found a decaying snail in her bottle of beer and made that our own problem. She could have stayed at home or something instead of giving us extra stuffs to read(Some of us were not even born when she decided to drink that beer). I am still searching for Donoghue or is it Stevenson. Do they know how many times I saw dead rats in my sachet of water?(please, don’t even say anything or ask how). I just grab a bottle of Alomo bitters and I am fine.

What is wrong with these people? What has happened to the good Spirit of Forgiveness?
If everyone could just be like me, then there will be no cases to cite.

Honestly, it is not easy being a Law Student…Lord Denning had to die leaving lots of ratio,dictum and dissenting judgements for simple minds like us to struggle with. I am not beefing the guy or something but honestly he left lots of those stuffs behind.

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Source: Internet

Oh! I almost forgot those law makers that can’t write in simple and straight English. They keep writing, ‘wherefore herein the proceeding subject to the , otherwise nature whilst the subject matter…'(well, I don’t know if that is even a section in any enactment). I can’t blame them, it is copy and paste they do ‘upandan’.

I really would love to write more on my grievances as a Law student but then I just suddenly remember I have to read Law of Evidence ( if only people can be truthful, there wouldn’t have been need for this course).

Enjoy your day Legal Penguins(Penguins? Really? Who even started this Penguin thing? So we are now animals abi?) !!!

I Have A Crush!!!

Ciao,
It’s another Saturday and another feature from DEAR CORDELIA. Thanks for reading my last post. I hope you ladies are not wasting any precious time before telling them(guys) yes.
I have a very interesting thing to talk about today.

You’ve had a crush one time or the other (don’t deny it). You probably have a crush at present. Some guys have got it bad for some beauty queens like Nicki Minaj, Genevieve, Mercy Johnson, Taylor Swift and the likes. Some girls have crush on some handsome hunks like: Joseph Benjamin, Jim Iyke, Ramsey Noah and the likes. Crushes like these are unrealistic, no matter how much or how long you crush on these people it will come to nought. I don’t have to tell you why you shouldn’t waste your time.

The good news however, is that some crush are very realistic. You probably have a crush for the girl next door, your class mate, your friend or senior colleague. Well this kind of crush is realistic. I prefer to indulge myself in a crush like this than some unrealistic crush(and I will advice you do the same).

At this juncture, it is pertinent that we give a meaning or definition to ‘crush’. According to a dictionary, CRUSH is ‘a short-lived and unrequited love or infatuation; the object of this infatuation. ‘

It is very possible to have crush on three ladies at a time for guys or four guys for ladies. All I am trying to say is that unlike the moral rule of love that says you can only love your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/partner, there is no rule that says you can only crush on one person, that is the good thing about having a crush. Most of the time, most crush are just crush nothing more, it could just be that you admire something so much in the other person. A crush of this kind might fade away with time,(as implied in the definition above)it is usually an infatuation that is short-lived. However, some crush might lead to more!!! It is at this point that it gets tricky.

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It gets tricky because many make the mistake of thinking they are in love with the time other person when all they’ve got is just a crush. It doesn’t help when you see your crush almost everyday, every time and everywhere because the law of proximity will make you think you love the person. As good as a crush might be, crush is not love. If you mistaken crush for love, you might just get crushed!!!

On another note, do you know it is possible for your crush to have a crush on you??? Wow!! That is called imagination but seriously it is possible. Well, my crush has got a crush on me and it is not an imagination.

By the way, I have got a crush on…(winks)

Thanks for reading. As usual, Read Like Comment and Share

Dear Cordelia