Ella’s Diary: Unwanted But Invited


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Hi. I am Isabella but you can call me Ella. Isabella is mouthful, Ella will do. I am probably just three days old, because I am technically a newborn. I thought newborns ought to be taken care of and they ought not to be left alone with no help. But it is amazing that just after three days, I have been left to face this world on my own. I really must have been a bad foetus in the womb. There is no other explanation for why I am in a polythene bag placed beside what I am sure is a toilet.
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Okay, you are surprise and wondering how I got here and how a three days old baby knows so much… I get it. Let me take you to the very beginning of it all…

I use to have so many friends from where I came from initially. It was nothing but fun. We all wait for our time to come. We all wanted to go into the famous planet earth. We’ve heard so much about the planet. There was a time Petals went there but after few months, she came back disfigured and there were many bruises all over her, even one of her legs was gone. She said something about being unwanted and all. She cried uncontrollably and refused to be pacified. Petals was a very beautiful creature and her smiles are gorgeous, so I wondered why anyone wouldn’t want her. Lily, Rose and Hibiscus also have similar stories as Petals’.
Their stories made many to be scared of going to earth and it even made some ruthless. I remember the story of Cactus. Cactus went into earth but as usual, he had to pass through the connecting narrow called uterus. He told us that while he was there, he kept his ears to the walls, so that he could hear all that was being said about him. He heard the word unwanted and mistake severally and he knew something was wrong. Not long after, foreign and dangerous objects were coming near him but he knew it wasn’t time to leave the passage, he had about 8 months to spend there. He knew at once that, they wanted to do to him what they did to Petals. Cactus decided that he was not going to be destroyed alone. So, just as he was being forcefully pulled out, he held on to her heart and squeezed it until it snapped.
Cactus returned without his leg but he was not so sad about it because he ended her life. Cactus said he ended her life because she is cruel and deserved no flower.
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Didn’t I tell you that I am adventurous? Well, now you know-I am adventurous. I decided not to allow these stories to stop me from exploring. So when the time came for me to go, I was so happy. I even threw a sent forth party for myself. I tried to remember all the tutorials we’ve had on how to behave on planet earth. I was going to be obedient to my parents. I went to the blessing room and carried so much blessings for the earth. My joy knew no bounds.

The guard took me into the uterus and I waited there patiently for the right time to announce my presence. We were told during tutorials, that our carriers are many times oblivious to our presence. We were given several list of tricks we could try to make our presence known. I decided to make her throw up. After a while, I started feeling this violent shaking even in the uterus. She was really doing a great job at throwing up. My carrier must be a good actress because she really did the throwing up act more than I anticipated. I soon discovered that I wasn’t getting enough vitamins and other supplements I needed. I kept my ears to the walls and I heard her tell someone that because she throw up so much, she has lost her appetite.

It was there I discovered that my trick was what is what is making me not get the required vitamins. So I decided to stop the throwing up trick and instead I went for the sleeping trick.
After about a month, I woke up to a very loud noise. I tried to get the words, but all I could hear was pregnant, troubled and disappointed. This got me scared, but I dismissed the thought when I heard my carrier say something about the best doctor at it. She was taking me to the doctor, who will give her the best advise on how to take care of me.

After a visit to the doctor, my vitamin supplies stopped. At this stage, she was past the trick phase, so I was confused as to why she was not eating well.
I heard her tell someone that she never planned for this and that she hated herself for bringing such calamity on herself.
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Excuse me please, is something wrong out there? What exactly does she mean by not planning for this. The circumstances were right, she did exactly the act that told our keeper she was ready to be a carrier. I really hate to say this, she did this act severally. Initially, the keeper took no notice of her but when she just wouldn’t stop, the keeper decided to give her what her act begged for and that is me. So, tell what other planning did she need?
And on the second issue, I have a name…Ella and I have brought along with me several blessings, so when exactly did my name change to calamity? These were my thoughts as I tried to think of her statement.

It seemed like she was intentionally starving herself, so that she could punish me. It was difficult without the vitamins, but I decided to be strong. I was already in love with my carrier’s voice, at least when she was not crying. I told myself she would fall in love with me once she holds me in her hands.
I refused to get weakened until after a while, I felt something burning my limbs. Oh! The pain was so much and indescribable. The pain went deep into my soft and delicate bones. It ate deep into my flesh. She was taking some sort of mixture! What exactly was that mixture for? I told myself she probably didn’t know the mixture was dangerous to me and even to her uterus. I wanted to be beautiful for her when she finally meets me, so I did all I could to ensure that the damaged limbs were reformed.

The passage was quiet and devoid of activities until I heard her mention doctor again. Before I knew it, a strange object forced itself into the passage and moved towards me.
What is this doctor doing? Why is my carrier allowing this intrusion? Why is she in so much hurry? I will definitely come out at my own will. Why is that object trying to force me out? I moved back as much as I could, running away from the object. I did all could, after a while, it disappeared, I was happy until I discovered that my leg was gone with it.
My right leg was missing.
I wept for the wickedness of my carrier. She had not even met me, yet she was bent on destroying me. I remembered all the stories of Cactus and I wept for giving earth a benefit of doubt. It is true, these carriers deserve no flowers.
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I wept for months, until it was finally the day to leave. I was reluctant to go into earth without my right leg. I eventually went. I cried and did all other stuffs I was suppose to do to announce my arrival. I could hear the nurses gasp because my right leg was missing. I wanted to tell them, a doctor took it but as I opened my mouth, something was pushed into my mouth and at the same time I felt new arms around me. I opened my eyes and I saw her…my carrier, my mother. Her eyes were tired as I suck from her, she couldn’t even bear to look at me. I saw so much hatred in her eyes. She hates me, even though she was just seeing me.

These were my thoughts as I fell asleep. My sleep soon became disturbed as my mother carried me in her arms and ran out of the hospital. She wrapped me in several clothes, placed me in a polythene bag. She dropped me near a toilet crying profusely. She told me to forgive her but that she never wanted me. She said she had a glorious future ahead of her and that being with me will be a hindrance to her greatness.

It was difficult to comprehend. She made me come into this world and now she blames me for coming? I was issued an invite but now I am unwanted?
She dropped a kiss on my forehead as I watched her helplessly. She turned her back on me and not even my cry would bring her back…I cried till I could cry no more…

So that was how I got here. That’s my story

Here I am waiting patiently to be found. But there are two options…either to be found alive or found dead and cold.
Which one will it be?

Photo Source: Google

Oyekan Oluwaseun O

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One comment on “Ella’s Diary: Unwanted But Invited

  1. Pingback: Ella’s Diary: Unwanted But Invited | LORD OF MUSE

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