Welcome to the DEAR CORDELIA feature.
This post should have been posted yesterday, sorry it is coming late. Better late than never.
I have got something very interesting to talk about today. By the way, thanks for reading last week’s post. I got lots of private messages about the zone issue. Hope everyone has made necessary amendments.
Down to today’s issue: it’s something about some old fashioned belief ladies have which I seem to have an issue with.
It is a common culture among ladies, I don’t know who even started it but it is like an unspoken rule. The rule says that: if a guy asks you out or is trying to ask you out you must allow him chase you for about two months or so before saying yes.
Reasoning behind this rule is that: the guy won’t think of you as cheap and he would respect you more.
As nice as this culture might seem to many, I find it silly. If ladies would be sincere, when a guy asks us out, we know our answer at that moment. In most cases, we know the friendship was already heading there and probably waiting for him to pop the question. Why then should you pretend to be thinking about it when you’ve probably done the thinking before he even asked?
I don’t think what makes a guy knows the worth of a lady is how long it took the lady to agree to date him. Only a guy who is foolish and not worthy of a lady would interpret a lady’s quick affirmative answer to mean the lady is cheap and goes ahead to think less of her.
We have heard real life stories of guys who chase ladies for six months and more but still end up disrespecting the ladies, maltreat them and think low of them. There are several other realistic ways of gaining a guy’s respect.
If you love him, just say yes and save each other the heartache of waiting. Most times, a guy knows when a lady likes him and knows you are most likely going to tell him yes.
Another thing is that, some guys don’t know how to chase ladies for a long time. They might think you don’t feel the same way about them when you refuse to give your answer early. Not all guys know how to persist, it doesn’t necessarily means they are proud or arrogant. It is just who they are. You might end up losing him at the end and this might hurt you.
On the other hand, if you don’t feel the same way, be quick to say no. Don’t let your over-stretched silence be mistaken for a yes. The earlier you let him know you are not interested the better. Be firm with your NO.
This is not to say you can’t give him one week suspense before telling him yes, but anything more than that is unnecessary and silly especially if you like him.
I will like to drop my pen with this: if there is no respect then it is not love. Sometimes when love wavers, respect will see you through.
Looking forward to your comments and likes.
Oyekan Oluwaseun O