First post from the DEAR CORDELIA feature.
These days zones and zoning are now common things among the male folks. This is not about etisalat zone or something. I am sure you know the zone I mean, you are probably in one of those zones already. Or it could be that you are about to enter one…
It is really a frustrating thing to get zoned o.
Most guys who have been zoned are zoned because instead of making their intention(s) expressly known they expect the babe to imply their intention(s) from their actions. You take her out to an expensive boutique, buys her lots of gifts, gives her lots of attention and you automatically expect her to know that you want to be more than a friend.
You should know that even when ladies see the signs, they still want the confession. They want express love not implied love.
When she starts telling you that your are like a brother from another mother, just know she is zoning you especially if you know that what you feel is not a brother from another mother thing. At this point you can quickly remedy that because once she removes the ‘like a brother’ phrase and tells you that, ‘you are my brother from another mother’ or ‘you are the brother I never had’ or ‘I couldn’t have asked for a better brother’ , just know that you have been zoned. I call this sibling zone. Trust me, that is one zone you shouldn’t be o. Before you finally get zoned, correct her when she is still zoning you. You never can tell, she might be expecting you to tell her that you have more feelings for her. What is the worst that can happen? If she doesn’t like you, life continues but if you get zoned without knowing what she thinks and feels about you, that is much more worse than she telling you she doesn’t feel the same way.
When you are friend zoned or best friend zoned, you are in shit. When you are in this zone you are living someone else’s life because when she comes and tell you that Tom finally asked her out, you will have to force yourself to look and sound happy for her. Deep down you, you want to beat the shit out of Tom. Your zoning becomes a nightmare when she asks you to help her choose an outfit to go to her date with Tom. She confides in you, you are the one who pets her when she comes crying with a broken heart because she thinks you just want to be her best friend and nothing more. Guy, your life is officially over when she comes back from her date and tells you how romantic Tom was. I think this zone is worst than the sibling zone. Most guys in this zone are there because they are scared that if they make their feelings known, they will lose the friendship but again I tell you, she might actually want you to be more than her best friend. So just tell her. If she doesn’t feel the same way, then it means you are destined to be in that zone. If she ends your friendship because you told her how you feel, then maybe you were never friends.
Another zone though it is uncommon is the school-father zone. A friend introduced me to this fine boy and told me to meet her school father. I smiled and look at the guy who has been zoned. School father my foot! That ‘he is my school father’ thing is a bullshit in the University. I am not saying school fathers don’t exist but many school fathers are only school fathers because they have been zoned. I saw the way school father was looking at my friend when a guy gave her a ‘more than a friend hug’. The look on his face told me that he could barely control himself from dragging my friend away. I asked my friend why she calls him her school father and she said, ‘he is always there for me and helps me with school problems. In fact, he told his friends in my faculty to always look out for me, in short, he treats me like his daughter.’ Daughter my foot! The guy unfortunately got zoned in the process of trying to map out his strategy. By the time he was ready to ask her out, he was already school father zoned. Who says you can’t tell her how you feel and still be school father. That is two in one.
The last and the most pitiful zone of all is what I call brother Jude zone. If you attend the same fellowship with her, then you need to be careful so that you don’t enter this zone. When she starts telling people that,’he is just a brother from my fellowship’ or ‘he is just my group head in fellowship’, then let me inform you that you are in the brother Jude zone. Deep down you, you know you care more about her, nothing should stop you from telling her. The longer you spend in this zone the more impossible it might be to tell her how you feel. I don’t think there is anything bad in dating someone from your fellowship. In fact think of it as strengthening your fellowship, a fellowship once called it NETWORKING.
I am not saying there is anything wrong in being zoned especially if that is where you want to be. All I am saying is that be truthful with your feelings. A philosopher once said, ‘if I say I love you, what business of it is yours’.
Your feelings are yours!!!
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