I wonder what it is like to be President
Not the President of market women and men
Not the President of my fellowship
But the President of a whole nation.
Seriously, it must really be a swelling pride
To have everyone at your beck and call
It must really be an overwhelming position
I really can not fully appreciate it’s importance
After all, I have never been one
I am just a distant yet near on-looker.
Indisputably, being a President is sweet
If I was one, I’d wake up in the morning
Stand before a mighty Mirror
Then I’d ask the mighty Mirror,
‘Mirror, Mirror, Mirror, who is head of them all?’
And my mighty Mirror will reply,
‘I have looked from the North, through the West and East down to the South and I have found out that , you are the head of them all’
And with satisfaction, I’d smile at myself.

But I am not a President
Not that I want to be one.
But there is one I am interested in
The one who added another year yesterday
That very one who is a day older today
It must have been all fun and celebration
Another year on the earth
And as the President of a big nation
The goodwill messages must have been rolling in
Lots of gifts must have walked in
Indeed few wines as cheap as the cost of Ferrari must have been popped.
You really deserve it
Who cares whether the girls are still missing
Or are you expected to leave Patience just to go and bring them back
After all, you are not their father
Neither did you send them to school that ill fated morning.
Should the fact that few young boys were burnt in their hostel deter you from popping champagne
Or that more people are being turned to barbecue everyday be your business
After all, you are trying your best to negotiate with their assailants.
Seriously, it seems being a President is so great
You don’t have to worry about the depleted state of education
Your worry is all about how to continue to be in the post.
And what other way is best to celebrate
If not by allowing the legislatures explore their potential in high jump and climbing
And creating brouhaha using the Black and Blue uniforms as an instrument of chaos
Yesterday sir, your birthday can never be forgotten
A friend of mine got his swell
He called his feelings, ‘a pastiche of extreme feelings’
I couldn’t have agreed less.
And in the words of a concerned fellow
‘May this birthday be the best you’ve ever had and may it be your last as the President of this nation’

Happy Birthday Mr. President!!!

Oyekan Oluwaseun O

Oyekan Oluwaseun O


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